-22nd June-
First Poly fifty training
Did some track related exercise.. Working mainly on stamina and leg muscles.. Still okay for me.. Although could see that both shi ni and sam quite lost, like didnt really know how to bring they idea accross.. LoL..

Went malaysia after that.. Suckiest experience of a life time.. Marks the foul mood period and deep thinking period which lasted for a while.. Jia yao got ask me wad happened, then I keep telling him later.. Ended up he left earlier.. Guess I must as well spill the beans here and tell everyone, at least those reading my lame post..

I must bring in something one of the spa guys said: "I may not stay with this club for long because everyone is only thinking about themselves, if we don't fight for own needs, people wont care" And I remember my reply was something like: " Well, this may not be the case, you have to look at things for a different perspective.." Then, I thought I knew everyone.. But I'm starting to doubt my own words, and I really hated it.. All just because of a small tiny incidet.. Only yao sheng could comprehend, cause he was with me.. This wasnt the first time something similar happened, and its the second time the exact same thing happened.. :

After training, we bath, went back clubhse.. The girls bathed and went FC5.. So they called us and we left for FC 5. Jia yao left first. Then Me and Saw Left. Leaving Chow and Lard.. So me and saw happily walked towards FC5. I went in and started looking around like an idiot for my frens who were suppose to meet me dere.. Some fren they were I realise, they werent dere.. Then I recalled, the first time it happened, I walked around FC5 like an idiot..Sms a few person asking where they were, before I got a call 5 min later telling me they got tired of waiting and left for mrt station already.. Great.. First time, so I thought it was a small matter.. But this time round, I didnt even borther to search, headed straight away to the exit and started calling jia yao.. Just as I expected, they got tired of waiting again.. Great.. Only yao sheng saw how fucked I looked like.. Been trying to control my temper recently, but that just sparked my off.. Sometimes I wonder wads the meaning of staying when I keep kena "put aeroplane". It was then that I recalled the another similar incident when I "flip face" with some of us over the handover meeting.. I dont know, it seems that only I have such problems.. Maybe I expect too much from a normal fren.. But I wonder, are we only limited to be normal fren? I thought we went through though training camps tgt, I thought we went through life threatening expedition tgt, I thought we were good frens.. I guess I thought wrongly.. And I just got pissed off that day..

Maybe its jus me... This sucks..
Back to the happening of the day, we went to malaysia, had lunch at secret recipe.. Sucks. Expensive. Bland. Insufficient. Came out broke and hungry.. WTF.. Then they wanted to watch movie.. I was penniless, ended up havin yu tai treat me.. Maybe its time I stopped following them around like I want to.. Thats when I thought, I am too much a burden.. So much so that I'm starting to hate my own position.. I am a troublesome guy, because everyone have to give in to me when finding food. I am a troublesome guy, because I dont have money to do things everyone wanna do.. What else and I good for when going out.. Nothing.. I guess its time I stop trying to fit in.. I just cant..

The happenings on this day, left me depressed.. And set me into thinking mode for a while.. Then I thought about someone else, and decided that I will fully let go.. Its not within my power to ponder over love anymore.. Run away.. Its all that I can think off.. For a loser.. There aint a better choice..

-23rd June-
Blank mode.. Slack at home, not being able to do anything..
Totally no mood at all..
But no mood still have to work,
because no money..
Ended the day with nothing much for memory..
Ah, the bunch of rich ppl left for LTC..
I wanna go as well..
But I'm glad I didnt lose to desire..
One have to make a hard decision,
for a better future..

-24th June-
Second Sike Assessment
Just realised how much of a fucked up I really am..
Passed people anyhow..
Teach anyhow..
Almost got everyone killed..
Man, totally lost it already...
Blank state still in play.. Got me too distracted..
Cursed it all..

-25th June-
Fucked up day as well..
Woke up late, supposed to me yutai they all for eye check.
Went to lrt station, card no money, bank no money, I no cash..
Went home to borrow from my bro so as to top up my card..
Wad kinda older brother am I.. A fucked up one..
Reached school, meet them, then went to eye center..
Great, they not open for business..
We didnt get to do eye check,
so we decide to postpone the theory for ppcdl.. Shacks..
How long izzit gonna take..
I dont know, I dont care.. No money anyway..
Stayed in school played com and psp...
Tried to study to no avail..
Went pool training.. Me Yutai and Lard..
Followed them for supper, doing nothing..
Went home KO'ed immediately..

-26th June-
Second Poly fifty training
Static exercise training core muscle, lead by lard..
Then had lunch, at FC3, i was eating my own packed lunch..
It contains, Protein, fats, fibre, carbo..
Totally dont know what kinda crap I'm eating,
Just know what kinda nutrients there are...
Shacks.. Went clubhse slack a while. Play psp..
Jun Feng Wen Yi come, I went home, sleep..
Wake up then go work..
Came home, eat dinner, use comp until now.. LoL.. Finishing the post..

Still in blank state.. But I've clammed down a lot..
Now is almost 3am, tml is third assessment..
Urgh, lets see wad I will do.. Shacks..