ZOMG!!

Its been quite some time since I post le..So sianx..

Well,can say that nothing much happen recently, but I am really glad..
At least not much things gone wrong..That so much relief it is to me..

Well, I finally learn how to perform a roll..As in one of the kayaking skills.
Where by you have to capsize yourself and flip yourself back up. WOW...
Seems so difficult them but i finally mustered it..Hope i can continue to improve.=)

Not only that, I have finally gotten myself a new phone..ZOMG..Finally..HAHA..
I am so glad now..Althought this model not the one I had in mind(G900),
this (W760) seems quite good and okay to me.. =)
At least its new, and ot VGA anymore..LOL..
Hopes this phone last.I don wan to be crying in one months time..LOL

Well..This is what happened recently..Quite happy with life now..
But that doesnt means I finally see hope in life..
Its still the same, and it will always be the same..
I gave up on us, humans long ago..
And until we can finally see our own mistake, everything is just a illusion..

People may say, if ya so great that u know what mistake we are all making, why dont you tell us and why don u change yourself.. Fact is, I AM already different.. The most basic thing I have done is to give up killing and taking life.. Well, I have never really argue with someone over this..Don wan to.. Because I don wan to win people over such an issue.. It jus make them even more sturborn and hopless..

Well, life aint something great anyway.. Thought we must cherish it, know that it is not ours permanently.

YO!!

Here to post again...
Its quite late le so I will try to make it short.. kekeke..

Well, last weekend was wonderful,went to spa camp..
We had tons of pt,survival training and kayaking. It was a tough,damm tough for me..
But in the end,it was all worth it..The experience..The knowledge learnt..
There cant be a second way to accquire it.
As people usually says, no pain, no gain..

Well,for the time being,gotta train myself up..
Cuz after the camp, I realise jus how weak i am..
Gotta train train train.. Muhahahahahaha!!!
Hmmmm..See how it all goes bah.. =)

Missed training today..But I did some running today..
Ran for like 3 k.. den i go do some short distance running..Hope it will help for the poly 50..
Cant miss training again, if not difficult to keep myself commited...
Hopes to stay with this cca throughout..=)

Well, its kinda late le...Sleeping soon...But maybe generating some ideas for ideas first..
lol..first ideas is the normal ideas we think in our brain.. Seconds ideas is the course name..
Sianned...How am i gonna imagine and think of a product out of nothing...
Try my best bah...lol...

K la..Go sleep le..Nitex..

OMG..Bio report still habben done...LOL..
But cant tahan le..MUST SLEEP!!!
Omg..Why i got auto shut down mode de..
Cant concentrate at all...Everything i type in the report came out as crap..
LOL..Try to complete it tml..LOL..
KK,nites all..

WOOhoo..so late le still haen sleep..
haha..actually sleeping le..But jus feel like posting before sleeping..

Well..This few days kinda misfortunate..
Yesterday,supposed to be sea x selection..But I didnt make it..So I thought I would missed it..
And in the evening,I was supposed to be having dinner with my family outside,end up I was home so late that there left without me..
Well..Prob is,I did rush all the way back,I ran like mad..The could have at least told me that they were going without me..I don have to run like a stupid dog...
But I had no one to blame..Its my own fault for being late..

At night,I received news from spa,that I could still go for a trial today..So I went this afternoon..And heng heng for me,I got slected..At least I wont miss the sea ex..

But at the same time,my parents came home..And because I was late,my mom kao bei me for a night..Den she say she will take back the sim card..And wont renew my plan for me..Oh well..I will jus ask my sis..Anyway,I am paying for the new phone myself.And the bills as well..

Today was quite normal..As mentioned,I went for the trials and got selected..Well,actually today was a kinda funny trial,cuz today there was only me..LOL..I think the rest of the ppl don wanna come bah..Hmmm.

Sian..At night realise,that I cant complete the bio report..Gone case le..Forget bout it ba..Jus ask for an extension tml..lol..Try to finished it by tuesday..Godd bless me..

K lar..Cant tahan le..Gotta go sleep le...Nitex all..€

Haha..Here to post again..
Today finally completed the last test of the term..
Well,the test is FINISHED..can say is a gone case le..
Totally didnt study,totally given up on the module..
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(UGRH,COUGH COUGH)
Shit,laugh too much,choke on my saliva..
LOL..recently like to type this very much..
Hmmm..Don care bout that the module le..Gonna give it up..
I rather divert my attention to my core module..At least I still have hope in that..
MUHAaaazzzzz.....(better stop,if not choke again..)
Haha..Tml is end of the week le..Sat actually got swa training..But I wont be able to make it..
Hmmm..Forget it le..Jus be a normal semi active member can le..
Try my best to make it for other training can le..
Peeps at spa,my apology..I should have been more active..
Well,life is about making choices,there isnt a senario that allows yes and no to be choosen..
Unless its death..Yes,i wanna die,no i don wanna live..See,thats the same..lol..
Anyway,its quite late le..Listen finish this song i will go sleep le..
Hmm..Nitex everyone..In the world..Woots..

Haha..Posted these picture at my class blog le..But still feel like posting them here..LOL..
Well,I'm jus gonna flash it..For captions,go to my dche class blog..lol..
The pictures were taken outside my hse..
And why izzit so?
Cuz... ...





I forget the keys...
Siann~ded.

Hmmm..I can say I feel gulity,but that isnt gonna change a fact..
I am guilty,because there are actually so many people around me,
that show me care and concern,
that dont wan to see me being reduced to such a state,
that believe in me,hoping that I could change for the better,
yet knowing this way before they told me,I am still like this..
I feel apologetic to them,and I really have to say sorry,
sorry that I am not the guy you all know,
sorry that I will not change for the better,
sorry for being such a stubborn bull,
sorry for the misplaced care and concern,
sorry for the time and effort,
sorry for giving up so long ago yet I didnt told anyone,
sorry for giving up on this world..

I have changed..From a childish brat,to someone who see the wrold,from one specific persepective that not many can understand..
A persepective that is clouded by saddness,cruelty,and darkness..
A persepective based on the human heart..
And from the point on,I wont change..Not in the short run..
I will remain as I am..Because I want to constantly remind myself..
That this world is not to be..That one day we will have to return somewhere..
That not many around me can return..
That I have to someone let others know what they are doing..
That I have failed..

When people change because of surrounding,because of something that happen,they can overcome it..With the help of friends..
But when a person changed because he want to..Forget it..You cant help him..
I am that kinda person..

I dont to stay positive,because I know what is going to happen in the end..To be able to surpass and kinda of emotion breakdown,I must let go off eveything..And to do that,the best way is to be negative,becase only that will ya heart be numbed..Thats the kinda state I am in,a state where a person can laugh when he get scolded,can shout when some is polite to him,can think of killing small animals even when he is a vegetarian..I may have sinned,but I will repay them back..