26 Oct

Been a few days since I blog again..

Well, cant really blame me..

A sick person can't leave the bed..

Much less type on the computer.. lol..

Well, not sure what really happened with me..

Just know that my tummy was feeling damm uncomfortable.

And I was running a fever..

But well, thanks to a few people,

I recovered with god speed..

Gotta thanks jj for buying me 100 plus over..

If not for it, I may not have energy to tide over the illness.

Since I couldn't eat much..

Gotta thanks my mom for giving me the wonder med..

That supposed to make me go to the toilet..

Ended up I just vomited everything up..

It really sucks to vomit..

But everything felt much better thereafter..

Gotta thanks the panadol, which got rid of the fever easily..

Gotta thanks every person who ask me to get well..

Received it, appreciated it, glad of it..

Thanks peeps..

Well, right after the illness,

right after I vomited and shitted myself empty,

I went of a feasting spree on sunday...

LOL.. They say old habit die hard..

Well, I say we should just eat while we can.. =D

Had two bowl of rice with niang tou fu,

then I finished up veron's fried hor fun..

Thought everybody's was gonna enjoy the meal..

But yutai seems a little weird..

I think he was sick..

Well buddy, get well soon..

I need my counterpart in crapping..

Cheers..

23 Oct

Tired and Spent..

Just two days of training straight..

Maybe I'm just too weak..

Need more training..

Just attended a funeral..

Well, its really to for anybody to see a relative go..

Exp someone who is really close..

I do hope I would never get to experience that anytime soon..

Going to sleep now..

Nitez everyone..

22 Oct

Boring..

Going school now..

Schools start at 12..

Pool training later on..

Au Revior..

21 October

I feel stupid... I feel guilty..

But above all, I feel that this is a fate,

I cannot escape..

Just said something stupid again to my mom this morning..

She was telling me how my foaming pee could be linked to kidney failure..

And guess what my reply was..

Kidney failure is good.. one can die early..

Dumb..

What kinda son say that kinda shit to his mom..

What kinda son expect to die earlier than his mom..

What kinda son intends not to repay his debt to his parents..

What kinda son am I...

I know its wrong, but I just can't help but feel this way..

Nothing in this world is realistic enough for me to work towards..

No goals, no targets, no destination, no nothing..

Without all those, can I really be blame for thinking death is the only path left?

I know there are so many other roads out there..

So much stuff to do, that I don't even know about..

But does it all matters?

When you die, you die..

Nothings matter then..

Why can't I just lead a normal life with a normal goal..

21 October

This is stressful..

School was normal, lessons as per usual.. Boring like hell..

Gems - Indian teacher, I swear to talk like Indian next lesson and kill him..

P&ID? - Cancelled, brilliant!!

PD&D - Resumed.. Boring.. Slept through since there was no lesson..

Maths - Played psp through, since the tutorial already done..

Effective communication - O.o I know I talked a lot of bullshit.. Wonder if this module really useful or not..

After that, work work work.. once again..

Now, for the stressful thing.. Poly Marina..

Once again, this accused place is causing my much worry and headache..

First was to tell us to drain our kayaks as its breeding mosquitoes..

Next was to tell us to rotate the kayaks, back to inverted position..

Now, we have to move a whole damm RACK??

Its not feasible.. Practically impossible..

Why cant those adults understand..

Man.. I really hope they will look at the points I've brought out..

Just demolished the whole damm rack.. For god sake..

20 October

Just spent the first day of school..

Wasn't late, quite happy and felt accomplished.. =D

Started tutorial immediately early in the morning, even before lectures.

Finished tutorial 1 and started on 2..

Then we had two prac briefing, and almost make me sleep.. Yet again..

Went club house to slack a while after lessons..

And then went off to work..

Work work work, boring but necessary.

Work all the way till 11, because of some function..

Ended up, whole day of preparation, ended up with only about 30 people..

Why 30 is a small amount?

Cause the intended amount was 200, and our chef spent the whole day, preparing 200 people worth of food..

Its no wonder he felt to demoralized..

Well, I sorta sympathize him..

To see all your hard work going down the drain, is kinda.. urgh..

Well, in another way, I'm also feeling just as demoralized..

Everybody leads a different life, but at a certain point, peoples path will intersect and intertwine.

For me, I really hope to be able to do what everybody else is doing..

But my road, seems to always lead me to another direction..

This feeling of emptiness.. When I see the smile on everyone else face..

Its just keep telling me, that I have missed something great..

Something that I would have so much wanted to be a part of my life..

But I think I just cant fight fate, no matter how strong I gets..

if only my road didnt make me this way..

though..

I'm still glad those who went, enjoyed KK..

October 2 - October 18 2009

16 days.. well, it could have been longer..

School starts tomorrow, and its a whore.

I know I aint cut for studying..

But its a stage everybody must go through,

no running, no escape..

Being doing badly in everything recently..

Yet again.. Its no wonder, I stopped feeling disappointment..

After all, someone used to losing, wont feel bad if new losses were made..

Thats the kinda person I am.. Yea, you aint mistaken bout it..

Sucks big time at dota, got pawned like hell as usual..

Sucks big time at soccer, still no signs of skill and what so ever..

Sucks big time at honesty, cant even come clean with mom about going overseas..

Sucks big time at protecting my psp, had to drop it and got it a scratch.

I don't know what else I'm suck at, there's just too much..

At least Datok was an accomplishment..

Finished it without much problems, returned my fifty rm borrowed from the club.

Took me long enough, but at least I returned what I owned..

I hope I could explore mountains which are more interesting..

But as of now, I need money and approval.

Well, I guess I could just hope and play along..

God has already decided on each man path..

Ok, don't wanna post much, lest someone complain again..

I know my journal its kinda long and boring..

Well, what could i say, its a fortnightly thing,

of course its long.. damm you, no. 9 of shadows. LOL..

September 16 - October 1 2009

Gone for 2 weeks.. I would say it wasnt quite a long period..

Compared to the previous one,

and given the fact that this holidays was damm packed..

I took a look back at my handphone calender,

and I realise that its mainly filled up by 2 things..

Work and Training..

I know I have to work, if I don't want to miss out on the fun others are experiencing..

I know I have to work, so that I won't be the only loser, who can't go anywhere..

I know I have to work, cause I know it sucks, to be the only odd one out..

Maybe i'm just trying too hard to belong.. maybe this just aint my world..

Training.. I have to train myself, I have to train the juniors..

Not an easy feat, but I try to do what I can..

Kayaking is a skill, I can be good at.. If i trained hard..

But teaching kayaking, can't be trained and obtained..

I have to learn it, by myself, or from others..

Well, I think I don't have much of a choice..

Because if I want to learn from others,

I need money.. And thats not an option for me..

But for the sake of my juniors, I will put in the best of my ability..

God bless us..

Other events...

Night hike..

Ended up in a failure..

Supposed to complete everything and reach Macritchie Reservoir..

But halfway through, we decided to give up and left at rifle range road..

Sucks big time hurr?

Well, I guess we can only blame our own weakness..

Stong..

I could say alot happened.. I could say I thought through alot..

First time sleeping on a bed of a train..

Not the best bed in the world, but its good enough..

Went caving, a first for me..

Quite the experience, to venture into the unknowns..

And the first time I slipped, kicked a girl and cause her to fell..

By accident of course..

Sucks big time.. And makes me felt guilty all over..

Oh well, I just have to pay her back in some other ways.

Went up to the base camp after lunch..

Played in the water a little, wash up and got ourselves clean.

Went back to cook dinner and set up our hammock.

First time to have a hut for sleeping area instead of the usual tents.

Cool, makes everything easier..

Then we went to the view point and feel the sunset..

Because the view point faces east, while sun sets at the west..

One of the most spectacular views I have seen on a mountain..

Wanted to just take everything back and share with my friends..

It was just awesome..

First time having tea and eating moon cake at a mountain.

Would die to do it again and again..

With more people of course..

Next come sleep, and then day break..

Missed the sun rise, because we thought it would rain..

But ended up, it didn't.. Oh well..

After breakfast, we got prepared, thinking we would be trekking to the submit..

But due to a delay of time, we only get to trekked up the top of the waterfall..

Notice.. Top of waterfall is not submit.. lol..

But oh well, I guess we still went somewhere nice and enjoyed ourselves..

After that, we trekked back to base camp..

And slacked there for a few hours..

Went to view point to have lunch,

threw some stones and made some wishes..

Then we just sat there and enjoy the view..

Halfway through, yu tai and hilda went to try out the 'slide'

We went after a while when we thought it was going to rain..

I tried once myself, and got abrasion on my ass..

You may be thinking, how can people can abrasion on a slide..

Well, firstly, its a natural slide, make of rocks.

Second, I could say its a 3m slide..

Third, it has an uneven surface and I guess, I just bumped into some..

Painful at it is, It was fun..

After that, we slacked a while..

Then we packed our bags and started our trek down the mountain.

Saw people from NYP reaching the campsite and setting up camp..

What a coincidence..

Whats more, the SDO is one of our seniors..
From a long long ago batch.. WoW..

Oh well, that I guess they say the world is small..

We also saw trekkers from the UK.. 2 of them.. Cool..

After that, its just all the way down down down..

At the foot, we bathed and changed..

Hop on the van, went to the town, had dinner and slacked till the train come..

Went all the way back to Johor, slacked there, ate and watch movie..

Then it was home sweet home...