5th April - 15th April twenty-ten..

Hoho, rather quick update from the once-in-a-while blogger..

Just a span of 10 days this time round,

so don't be expecting much of an updates..

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First up, as everyone can see from the calender, tomorrow is the sixteenth..

Its the day we have the final term test for cptc, and its also the last day..

Fast hurr? One and a half month of holidays.. Felt like it was over in an instant..

Well, here goes my little confession, of my true feelings for this period of time..

As mentioned in the previous post, the whole damm thing felt like a whore to start with..

Almost everyone was complaining big time about it.. Including me of course..

But well, after twenty five days.. I realized I felt different..

In this short amount of time.. I might have sacrificed alot of time..
And I might have lost something important in my life.. But..

In the process.. I have gain many valuables friends..

Here.. I would like to disclose everything that makes me wanna say, valuable friends..

For me.. The three class in SP that we started out with, wasn't close in the beginning..

I won't deny, I won't hide it.. Right from the start, I felt like we start out all not seeing eye to eye.. And everyone from the other side seems to hate something about us..

Just look at the Irony.. We might be in different class, but we've been attending lesson together since day one.. Yet we rarely talked.. or even looked at each other..

But all of this.. Changed during CPTC.. Every little bit of it..

This unknown hatred which were built up from no where, just disappeared..

The ice barrier was broken, and in the ends, I would dare call ourselves friends..

From talking about them behind their back in the year one.. to maybe exchanging a few basic phrase in year two.. and to cracking jokes together in CPTC. It has been a long journey..

And for all that misunderstanding in the past.. and those bad happenings..

I would like to apologize.. Everyone makes mistake.. But not everyone dare to face them..

And for the new friends that I've made, I would say thank you..

For such a screw up like me, you peeps have made my day..

Without any one of you peeps, "OH PLEASE! EXCLUDING JOSHUA!" this CPTC journey would have been so different.. Thank You all.. = D

Next up, I would be talking about another special person, since we're at thank you's'..

This person, went through the same twenty five day with us..

And he was always the outstanding one.. Different..

He never turned up for classes late, and always do stuff to surprise us..

Without him, definitely, this training period would have been so different for everyone.

One could almost say, he is the essence of our class..

And before u all start thinking about Joshua, I would like to clarify that I'm actually talking about the one and only trainer that we have, Mr Tay.. Eng Wah.. hehe.. = D

He has been a great trainer, always making sure we understand everything..

He always seems to be so patient with us.. Never flaring up or anything..

And honestly, I would say we learn most of what we could learn from CPTC, from him..

Haha.. Enough flattery.. Lets just end this nicely with, this:

Mr Tay, you've been a great teacher in my life, Thank You!

Next up, I would like to thanks the two girls, Ly and Sm..

The two girls which I would never talk to.. Till the end of the CPTC..

By becoming the spice for me life, for this short period of time, CPTC became a lil more fun..

Here, I would like to confess again..

For me, I wont deny developing a little feelings for the girls..

If not, I won't even have spent my 25 days, grabbing every opportunity to look at them..

To exchange a feel shy glance with them..

But in the end.. This will all have to end as a dream..

I would like to clarify again..

Its impossible between them and me.. Either one of them..

I don't even have to make a choice between the two.. They both can't be chosen..

Its been so long, since I've learned to numb my heart..

So that I'll only fall in love with the right girl.. Minimizing my chance of hurting/getting hurt..

Some might think those criteria I set up, are bull shit.. They will say when one fall in love, its regardless of anything.. Well, I would say those are words coming out of immature lovers.. Coming out from people who've never faced sure a huge gap in a relationship.. For me to set up those criteria, was not of choice.. I was forced into making such a huge, wall?

I have to act like that bastard I call myself.. Because of my own background and my past mistake.. I might not be attractive to start with, but I've to make sure girls wont go head over heels for me.. Cause in the end, they have to realize, I'm difficult to love..

-period-

Well, till the end.. This has been a one hell of a bull shit.. And I don't think anyone will read much of everything.. But in the end, as I've always said.. This is a blog for myself.. A journal.. Lest my memories fails me.. The thing that keeps me from going insane.. My other personality.. The thing that helps me maintain my outer shell.. My cloak.. I need it.. Because here I can say alot more which I don't usually do.. I have to do it.. So that people will know, that I'm eventually, still someone who need love.. Who is suffering every second being alone.. But I know all this suffering will pay of.. Because this is the path.. I've to take..

Once again.. This is the once-in-a-while blogger, MxFate signing off.. Pardon my lengthly post..