Almost 1 month.. Yet again.. The once-in-a-while blogger, MxFate, came online..
So much had happened.. That I don't even know where to begin..
. . .
In this 1 long month.. I've gained alot..
But I wouldn't deny that I've lost alot too.
To the girl I said I would wait:
I do care.. I do think about you.. But I don't know if you do.. I know its all too late now.. For me that is.. And I want you to go, and fly unrestrained.. You've helped alot, for me to step a little out of this hellhole.. And now I'm finally moving on.. But I know I don't deserve you.. So I want you to love the guy that you love now.. Unrestrained by me.. Unwaivering.. I don't want you or me to regret, but I have to let you know.. With this message which I don't know if you will read or not.. That I will not be waiting anymore.. Not because my feelings have you have dulled.. But for the fact that I know we are not meant to be together.. This 5 years dream that I've carried with me.. Since I first met you.. Its time for me to end it.. Till the end.. You were never meant to be mine.. Time and again, our fate resulted in us brushing past each other.. But it will be time and again no more.. Because I know I've to move on.. I need to.. And I need to say I'm sorry too..
Lastly.. I would hope that you could still be my little sister.. And call me kor like you used to.. I might have lost a chance to be the man of your dreams, but I definitely don't wanna lose the duty of being your support which I've been all this years.. Maybe I wasn't there every single time.. But those times that I were, I honestly cared.. Just let us remains as who and what we are..
To JieLin, my little sister..
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Okay.. I can't keep adding stuff to that long message.. Still got stuff I needa update as well.. Lest my memories fails me..
First up is ITP-Attachment-CPTC..
It started right after the exams.. Which is officially our holidays.. But well, nothing to complain about.. Everyone goes through the same process..
Initially, we all thought its gonna be shitty.. No pay, long hours of more lecture, tutorials and practicals, exams, expensive transport, inaccessible place, etc etc.. Well, everyone started full of complains.. But now.. after 4 weeks, till the start of shift work, I would say most of us would have more of less gotten used to the environment..
The same routine everyday.. Wake up, have a late breakfast around 10.. Go to JE and take bus.. Attend lessons.. Have late lunch around 4.. Continue lesson.. Go home around 8.. Have late dinner around 9.. Turn on computer, play games, surf the net.. Sleep.. Wake up etc etc.. Mundane.. Yet necessary.. It all became a part of my system..
And then we have the 12 hours of shift training.. Went through the first one just this sat.. And I'm proud to say I've survived.. 2 more to go.. And mid-night shift too.. 8pm - 8am.. Hola.. Lets hope everything goes well for me..
Next up is religion stuff update..
Previously, I think I mentioned, but just in case I forget, I would like to say again that I took up the role of Jian Qing.. Oh, for those who don't understand, don borther.. Just skip if you like..
As a Jian Qing, I have more responsibilities.. And I have to join in the planning for a camp.. And for me, I chose "A" camp.. Well, went through 3 meetings, and we've already quite a clear direction.. Now to finalize it and then, we are off to start planning for activities.. Well, I would say its tiring for me to be in the planning coms.. But I wont deny that I've learned alot in the process.. Though it has only been three meetings.. I would try my best to continue.. and learn as much as in can.. For all I know.. This is supposed to be the path I should be taking.. Not anything else..
As for bxb, we've some new members.. And I can say I'm really bonding well with those kids there.. Well.. I thought I hated kids.. But somehow, recently, I came to a realization that kids are attracted to me.. Also, I never thought I would be good enough to be someone, somebody will look up to.. But then when I saw those kids looking up to me.. I realized, you don't FEEL that you are someone that people looked up to.. You just BECOME that someone.. Like Qin Hua, the very person who I looked up to when I was a kid.. I had become someone that some other kids look up to.. Same as usual.. I don't know if I would be a good role model.. But I know I will definitely try.. Love you peeps..
Then I'll be talking about my cca..
As mentioned, I've become the president.. And we did held our first mc meeting at pm.. Though not everyone turned up.. But at least, we kick started the planning for the year.. CCA drive and freshmen orientation camps.. training camps and etc.. Very general stuff.. Then.. I went on hiatus, due to itp.. Tried my best to supervise a little here and there but well, I think I'm still not doing as good as I wanted to.. So sorry people.. I'm sure to devote more of my time when school reopens.. I hope.. Next up, is this sat event.. 10 April.. Abseiling for a Youth Group.. Lets hope everything goes well.. Hola..
Then, to mates at shadows.. I would like to apologize.. I'm guilty.. And I don't want to come up with lame excuse for myself.. But I would try to make it for more soccer session if time allows me to.. I'm sorry..
Oh yeah, additional stuff..
Treated Nj to a big meal.. spend 60 dollars?
Should be taking 3 star kayaking assessment soon?
Should be taking ppcdl practical test soon?
Should be buying a new specs to replaced this damaged one soon?
Still addicted to SNSD.. Bought 2 new albums and received 2 poster..
Received a new bed and wardrobe from mum.. Thanks mom.. Love you..
Did pretty well for first 2 itp test..
Ahhh.. I think I've sorta came to the end.. I think there is still alot of stuff I wanna say.. But, well.. A human have its limitations.. So I think I would end it here.. Hmmm.. If there is anything I missed, shall add it in again..
Till next time, cheers everybody.. The once-in-a-while blogger, MxFate, signing off..
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