Haiz..Life is such a misery..Dont ya all agree with me?

Hmmm..Morning failed to meet up with her..Poor girl,whole morning was schrewed up..If only i was there to help..Useless?you bet..


Today,was having cocked up lesson..
Morning,went for IDEAS lesson..Supposed to be having a presentation..
Is a whole class presentation..One by one,sent to walk the plank..lol..
Well,was late for class,as always..MAybe we need to improve the transport system..
IF the goverment could start calculating the amount of s-eleven n time lost due to time delay,
they will get shocked..Hmmm...Don care,not my business..
Well, I can dont care,but doesnt mean my class can..If only I was earlier,we could have presented first..Den,we could have gone off first..Damm..I really dont mind,but my clasS?Hmmm..seems like i am really unsuited..Sian..

After that,even more sian..Attended a class which is special..Why?
Because things from the lesson that I could understand,are things I already know..
Things I cant seems to understand no matter wad,are new things the teacher are teaching.
WOW WOW WOW..Wad the hell did she taught den?
Things taught(10)-Things knew(10)=Things learnt(0)
(0)_(0)'''
Trying so hard to stay awake..

After that,lesson were fine..Hmmm..Why cant all the lesson be as easy to understand as these..

Realise something,I should be glad I didnt major in studying girls..I may go BG..Buangkok Green..Formerly known as WoodBridge..

After that,is the sad thing..Haiz..I cocked up..AGAIN..Why i cant do a thing right...This is jus so getting on my nerves..ACtually was meeting her after school..After my lesson,I sms her..Didnt receive a reply,so i thought she was busy,still in lesson..Seeing that i have time,so i acc my fren go the cca show hse..End up,she was already at the mrt waiting...She tried calling me with a fren phone,didnt felt the vibrations..So didnt answered immediately..But i got keep looking at the phone,so i saw the miss call soon..Den called back my fren,told me she has been waiting at the mrt..End up,apologize to fren,fly aeroplane den rush to mrt..Haiz..Shouldnt have agreed to acc my fren in th first place..End up when i reached the mrt,she was looking so sad...Wad can i do..I tried my best..Whole way back,she was sulking...I sux..Cant even cheer up a girl..Haiz...Seeing her tear drop.makes me felt worse..Hmmm..

After mrt,we took bus to her home..Saw her mom,so end up we go up her house..Say I borrowing cd...Hmmm..So we went up,and i left after taking a cd..Return her another cd to her too...Sian..

Come back,eat,den sit there fa dai..Maybe should go count sheeps?Or do hw..But so sianz..Haiz...

Ah!! Finally..My break has come..After much studying for only a week,I am already so spent and tired..

Hmmm..Today seems to be quite a rather eventful day..Firstly,I went to work as I'm really hard on cash..Then,when I went into the kitchen,I realise something,OMG,the old oven has been replaced..I thought,OMG,finally,toasting will be an easy thing to do...But alas,the first thing my chef told me was : this stupid oven,bake so long already still cant even get bake a chicken tart right..That when I realise that this new oven is actually not that good..But actually,we cant expect too much for this 'new' oven,becasue it may look new,it is actually 2nd hand..dotts..End up now we are taking a longer time to bake items..sian...Then,another thing a work,I told my manager,I wont be working till school holidays start..Because after looking at my time table,I realise I have a lot of things to study,but very little time..Haiz..But I think its for the better,after all,working really is energy and time consuming..Hmmm..Then after work today,manager give me 2 good present..One is,she had me mop the floor from the cafe,all the way to first floor..Why,because the rubbish she took out was leaking all the way..Sian...Second was three packet of kettle of chips,which i sorta 'taken' from the place.. =p..I don think she will mind..Haha..After sitting there till six,I went home..

Hmmm..home is very boring..Mummy sick,don know why,morning headache till I come home..Wan cook mian xian for her,but end up she say no appetie..hmmm..So worrying..get well soon ba..I think if not,tml will tell daddy bring her go doctor..Hmmm..For dinner,I too lazy to cook..So jus settle for maggie mee..That one is for lazy ppl de,close one eye also can cook..lol..
After that watch tv a while before I come online..lol,kena chase by darling to post blog..but end i like drag so long..Hmmm,nvm,got blog can le..Hahaz..

In the mean time,I was informing ppl to come online tml for an online discussion..cuz monday gonig to have movie session..cum birthday celebrations for our classmate..hmmm..but got one major problem..shall we call that guy?is he worth our trouble?or should we call him because he is our classmate?but will he ruin everyone mood?are we being too bad?hmmm..think man,think..you are the class rep,a vote can be called for,but you still hold the utlimate decision..hmmm..depends ba..i haven make up my mind yet..

Hmmm..Better go sleep now..don wan be thinking bout this thing still i sleep..Cuz if i keep thinknig bout that,i wont sleep le..lol..Nitex dear..I going to sleep now le..Hugz..

BORING!!

URgH!!

After much wait and anticipation, school finally started..Finally can get to make some friends and talk crap all day..But then, I forget to anticipate the homework load and study stress as well..

Your first reaction must be : DIAO!! So early got homework meh,poly so slack, study will stress meh..

... I wont say it is for fun.. Because I really do have much homework for the first week.. Study stress mainly comes from two modules.. Namely CP5045 n Ms8107.. U may be wondering what are these.. These are the codes for the modules I'm currently taking.. First one is Introduction to Chemical Engineering.. Second is Calculus 1..

CP5045, Introduction to Chemical Engineering, is the greatest IRONY.. The first chapter we study in this module is, PHYSIC!! Its like WHAT THE !! Oh my GOD!! DAMMMMM IT!! WHAT THE HELL!! How come?? I didnt study physic thats why I took a chem course..End up I am the only one who didnt touch physic for two years in the class..And jus fot the first tutorial, I like cock up and took so long to finish it, end up make everyone stayed back a while more for me.. Sorry guys, I will go home n read up de, will catch up with ya all soon..I WONT BE A BURDEN!! WOOTS!! Begone stupid stress!!

Next is Ms8107,Calculus 1..This is one of the most ge kiang subject I have taken..Why? because this is the module for Diploma plus cert in Engineering maths... And after a few lesson,its like h m god 2.. I cant understand what the teacher is teaching.. And,it is jus maths.. Die le lar,my brain really rusty le.. The 2 subjects that I get A1 for is now becoming so hard.. What am i gonna do.. Oh no.. Someone help me please.. Hmmm, hope this is the only topic i cant understand ba, I must buck up le..So many things, so little time.. Welcome peepz, I am back in the race.. Don get me started, because I wont stop until I am first.. Just kiddin... LOL..

P.S. maybe not first,being second will be good enuff.. Haha..

Hmmm..To those who tried to encourage me not to be emo,thanks so much..But don worry,I believe I can still stand up and face a few more thunderstorm..I will not crumple under pressure..

Other than thanking you peeps for giving me the support,I also have to apologize to my dear...I know its hard on you,I understand..Humans are humans after all,we changes..U did,but so did I.. And I wanted to apologize for wad I posted earlier..Even I find it a bit harsh looking back at what I had wrote..I'm sorry..But I was at my breaking point then..So i wrote wad i wrote..hmmm..

To you:
I have been too deeply in love with ya,and I don ever wanna let go..Ya don really have to return my love,I will still love ya..Promise me one thing though,take good care of yourself,cause I cant be with ya everyday now..T_T hope we get to go out or spend time again soon..Hopes our problems get solved soon...

Why does I feel so hard to believe that she love me as much as she did?
Why is this feeling slowly taking over me,and I am not doing nothing to help?
Why does I so willingly want to let my heart die??
Izzit because of the unberable pain?Or izzit because I have tried all I could..
Because no matter how much I endure,how hard I try,she doesnt seems to care..
And all I ever wanted for her,was a little care and concern..
I just want to be able to feel love..not nothing..

With no aid for the dying soul,one will jus die off..But with no aid for the dying heart,one will not die,but become a living dead..And empty shell..With no purpose in life,no hope in life,n no reason to live..

Although I have already lost hope..I do not wish to lose the purpose n reason to live..

You promised to check up my blog..Were you too busy receving the namelist fron your camp frenz that you cant spare me a few minutes??As a bf,is asking for a few minutes so difficult??

Hmmm..And one more thing..I would rather say it all out..Before i decided not to say anything ever again..Dont ask me again,to go out with ya new frens..That refer to tony that bunch..I disliked them for the start but for your sake,I kept it inside..I wont stop you,its pointless..I know you too well..You cant just break off contact with ppl you really want to be frenz with..But don ever ask me to go out with them..And recently,your whole world seems to be revolving around them..Even after the camp,you would share with me what msg they sent ya,and not share with me everything that happen at the camp..You wanna know how worried I was for ya?When i couldnt get to ya..Haiz..And do you know how much it hurts,when everytime i talked to ya,you will be talking bout some other guys?Where do i even stand in your heart?I still wanna be able to feel,but the pain has numb my heart..

I am tired,but I jus cant fall asleep..
Becasue I'm worried sick..Haiz..
There has been no news from her..And I didnt know if she's alright or not..
At least no news is good news ba..Haiz..
When the problems surfaced..I tried to solve it..
End up I only did something lame..Haiz..
But I still hopes it help..
Its getting late,looking at the time,I think I should be in bed..
But wad bout her?..My darling..
Is she asleep?Is she alright??Can she still handle the stress???
Haiz..Can someone please slap me..And wake me up from this half-dead state..
Izzit so hard..To love someone..
God..Its fine if ya don help me..But please..Please..Please..Stop torturing me..

I wish I can still feel pain..Someone save my dying soul..

P.S. I've done wad ya ask..But dear,dont you think that 1km is all that stands btw us now?
I tried walking towards you..But I just cant seems to catch up with ya...

I need you..

Da~~...Wanted to say something bad..But decided against something crude for the first word of the post..Haiz..Gods like to play with me..And I am really gonna be numb soon..Or maybe,I am already numb..Jus when i thought my troubles were gonna end soon,here comes another,after another n another..They jus cant stop coming..For wad had happened,please don probe..Its something that requires secrecy..I'll update you peeps when I deemed that its safe..For now,please don ask any question..Don worry,it isnt beacuse we argued of something liddat..You cant help it..Jus help me beg god to let us tide over this..

Dear,no matter wad happens,I wont let go..You have my soul with ya,stay strong..And take care..

Enjoy yourself for the camp..I regret not being able to join ya..Its my fault..Because I was too late..But its God who is the man behind the scene..So i wont be emo bout it le..I'll make it up for you another time..Hugz..Aishiteru..Nitez..

Today is just another day..I'm longer looking forward to a tomorrow anymore..

Just reached home,bath and had dinner..Not really full yet,but doesnt matter..I'm getting fat..
Morning is that same for me,went over to my dar hse..Den waited till ball n cy come..
After that we went out..Go to bugis to shop for bags..School going to start soon le..
End up,me and her decided we have to eat first b4 we shop..So we ate pasta..
Ball and cy was looking at us the whole time..Sorry galz..Gotta let ya wait..Didnt mean to..
After that,we were jus walking blindly around..
At bugis,only ball manage to purchase a bag that she like..The rest of us didnt buy anything..
I was looking for a school bag n 1 for my lap..Dar n cy only looking for a lap pouch..
When we didnt find anything at bugis,we move on to sim lim..
That place was crap..So much computer stuff,but not one nice pouch..Wasted trip..
We walk from the 1st storey to the top,n then we hav to go..Cuz dar needa rush home..
hmmm,n i think cuz of that,dar walk very fast today..Haiz..
Didnt really like it,but i didnt say anything..Shuan le ba..she has her reason..
Den,after rushing through all of sim lim shops,we went bac to bugis to hav Starbucks..
Cuz dar said she wanted to spend some money..LOL..
hmmm..after buying and ice chocolate,i sent her home b4 going bac..

Actually,today was supposed to be a happy day..Cuz we rarely go out tgt..only this week..
But end up dar walk so fast,den like no mood like that,haiz,makes me no mood too..
Tried to ask her why she like so moody liddat,she say its nothing..
Hmmm,didnt manage to cheer her up,me like very useless..Haiz..
Dar whole day msg others..Though i said it b4,this will be the last time i say it..
I dont like it..Haiz..Went out tgt,but she will rather msg others and not talk to us,ppl standing right beside her..Maybe i am too useless le ba..Yea,i am such a boring guy..Haiz..I just cant stop myself from thinking that she always ran out of msg for me cuz she keep msg others..Cant do anything to it,not gonna do anything bout it..I say till I myself also sianz ar..Just shuan le ba..She has her life..This be the last time i say this..Haiz..Should be saying this anyway..But I dont wanna explode..cuz this aint the first..I doubt it b the last..

Haiz..We tried all we could to solve the one inch become one metre prob..But end up,i think its one km now..Haiz..We are like island of different volcanic plates..Slowly drifting apart..Not obvious but definitely..Dear,i am sorry for being so useless..

Hmmm,dear,don feel sorry bout the purple words..I just wanna vent out my stress..But i dont wanna do it in front of you..Because of the blue words..I don one one km become so far till i cant even see..And don scold me for the blue words..I am useless..No point getting angry bout it..I should hav solve the prob by now..But i didnt..Haiz..

Sometimes,when I am stress,I go mad..When I behave like a mad and very different person,it means,time to send to the mental hospital..I have hit beyond my breaking point..It is a tragedy,but don ya worry..Nothing in the world isnt one..

Hmmm..So sianz now..Going to set off soon..Me already outside my hse now..At my darling hse..Hmmm..Now she doing make up..So sloww~~..LOLz..hmmm,now got me,my dar,ball and cy..Hmmm..Don know where we go,don know what we gonna do..Hahaz..Jus go acc my dar..Hugz..Kkh,gotta go le..Hahaz..

C'mon C'mon C'mon C'mon C'mon..
What the hell is wrong with this world..Maybe the world isnt wrong,its has always been like this,I'm the only thing that is wrong..
I hate god,because he like going against me,but I dont blame god,because that is his job..
Whenever bad things happen,people always hopes for the better..Not me..
I dont 'hope' anymore..Because i dont believe in it..There's no point in believing something that hasnt happen..
When something bad happens,I tried to solve it..I dont hope for a better result,because no matter good or bad,its still gonna come anyway..Why bother?
But sometimes,when I see no point in trying,I dont..Just let that matter rest and moves on with life..Because no matter how much you are affected by it,the whole world aint gonna stop to help ya..Its you,against the whole world..
C'mon,this is life..You gotta look beyond..


Some say things are different,when you found someone you love,someone who can share your woes and wees.C'mon..Let us all be realistic..Can you?
Some say yes..But did they really share it?
Material things,emotions,feelings..Out of three,how much can we share?
Money,can be shared..Joys can be shared..Can pain be shared?
How much pain can you feel,when you see that you love ones are hurt..When you cant do anything to help..How can you share pain,when both parties and being blinded by it..She felt pain,when she got injured..And you felt pain,when you couldnt help..So,did ya shared pain?Is THAT called sharing?
Sometimes,people misunderstand love..I too..
I said something about the razor,and how I would hold on no matter how deeps it cut..
But i forget to mention..Love only exist for the one holding the razor,when he stills feel pain after the razors cut..
But when he doesnt feel pain anymore..Numbness has taken over..And love is over..

Life,is nothing but misery..
Cherish the temporary happiness..
Because only then can you tide over the permanent sadness..

Today..

Wad is love,when you get bored of it?
If one day,you were ask such a question,then how would you answer it?

For some who decide to give up,will they live to regret?Because of the effort they put in..And the love they had given..
But did they choose the path of no return,for no reason?When love turns into agony..When the one you loved feels that the connection is bland and bored..
Isnt it high time to give up then?Can we say that they are weak,that they dont love each other enuff,that they didnt tried harder to love?
Or should we just let it be..Because they may have tried their best..
One cannot deny fate,when they want you to let go..
But at least treasure what is left,because those are what fate cant take away..

For others who decide to hang on,to continue this love,how will they go about it?
Should they sit down and talks things out,to find a solution,to minimize their gap and spice up the relationship..
Or should they still believe that they still love each other,and let these problems rest as they continue with everyday life?
And if they did solve the problems then,would it resurface to hunt them?Or will new problems arise to hinder them?
Is there really an end to the problems of love?Or will the god of love never cease to testing those who are meant for each other?

Only a true couple,that believes so much in love,till they cant even let go,and are willingly to go through the pain and torture,can make it pass the test of time..

To be able to savour love at its best is easy for a loving couple..
But to pick up the pieces and start anew ,when love is at its worst,will not be easy..

Some say love,it is a miracle,one that binds two couples together without difficult..
I say love,it is a razor..That harms those who cant use it wisely..Only those,who can bear its pain,can enjoy its benefits..

I will not cease to love,because i believe in returns when you put in effort..I will not live to regret,and i will hold the razor will true courage..Because no matter how deep it cuts into my heart,i believe it would always heal to take on more..With every cut and wounds it takes,it grows stronger and stronger..And by then,no matter how deep a razor will cut,the heart will never fail..